4am
Watching the light creep in
Not enough long days and even shorter nights
Sitting on the window and I watch the sun take space and change place
The metamorphosis of age
21 with 16 years of schooling and still no clue as to what I should do
Another roll to self medicate with self made lies
Maybe the loneliness will set me free
I purge my sanity counting daylight minutes and seconds
Counting down to the first classless fall
I’ve lost the measure of dates
They told me adulthood was a place of freedom
Lost in monotone routine
Robot, eat, robot, dreamless sleep
Highlights were the calls in sick
Buying popcorn at the cinema
Into a lonesome 9am screening
I thought the fall would break me
Take me in a howl with browning leaves
But the snow then settled me
Toward another heat full season
With a stagnant stance to wear
Robot, eat, robot, dreamless sleep
I worked myself to crash
Blazed away my cash
Barely earned to stash
I barely stepped on stage
I barely touched a page
I barely saw my friends
I caged my soul away
I thought I lost my way
But a red Quin turned a lens of possibility
So when the heat came back my flex came back
I bared my soul and tears came back
I sold my pain and the stage came back
I was paid for blood and hope came back
A star to be crafted I made friends that year
Still barely saw my friends that year
I kinda don’t really know what happened that year
But I grew a few years that summer
And I charred my chest a lot more that summer
I optimised a lot more that summer
So I guess it’s not too different this summer
I’ll probably barely remember this summer
You can listen to the recording of this and find out how to submit your own Lost Summer story here.